The Video
by Ace Trax
Summary: The Fashion Club finds a videotape on which Daria, Tom and Jane do “certain” things with each other.


INTRODUCTION:   
The Fashion Club finds a videotape on which Daria, Tom and Jane do "certain" things with each other. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES:   
Although the story is very kinky, I have rated it PG-13.   
When you think otherwise, then e-mail me under ace_trax@yahoo.de and tell me to change it.   
  
  
  


THE VIDEO

  
  


INT. HOUSE OF THE MORGENDORFFERS - SITTING ROOM - DAY   
_The Fashion Club sits on the sofa in front of the huge television-set of the Morgendorffer household._

SANDI: _(holding a videocamera)_   
Right! All set, put in the cassette, Quinn, and check if it is blank. 

STACY: _(exited)_   
This is it, girls, we are going to make our own fashion video! 

TIFFANY:   
We will become faaaaaamous. 

_Quinn stands up, walks to the video recorder, puts the cassette in and plays it._

QUINN:   
There you go, completely bla... hey, hang on... what's that? 

TIFFANY:   
It's a roooooom... 

STACY:   
I don't recognize that... 

_Quinn goes back to sit on the sofa next to her friends._   
_All 4 Fashion Clubbers watch the screen._

SANDI:   
It is the room of your cousin, isn't it Quinn? 

STACY:   
Wait, who is that coming in? 

TIFFANY:   
Ooooooh! It's Daria, Quinn's cousin! 

QUINN:   
Yes, yes, that is enough of that. I think we can erase the tape. 

SANDI:   
Why is she filming herself in her bedroom? 

QUINN:   
I don't know. This is obviously an informal display about her private life. That is why she is taking off her shirt. 

STACY:   
Well, it is very informal isn't it?   
She is taking off her bra too! 

SANDI:   
I won't hide such boobs if they were mine.   
_(the others stare at her)_   
I mean…   
_(embarrassed)_   
It is obviously very hot. 

QUINN:   
Yes, that must be it. That is why she is blushing all over her face. 

TIFFANY:   
Haaaaaang on, who is that guy? 

QUINN:   
Oh, that is Tom… a friend… of my cousin... 

TIFFANY:   
Ooohuh. She is leaaaaaading him to the bed. 

STACY:   
Yes, it is obviously her bedtime. 

TIFFANY:   
Oh, I seeeeee...   
  
_The Fashion Club stare for a moment at the "action" which is taking place._

SANDI:   
That is very unusual behaviour, isn't it? 

STACY:   
Well... maybe she's just chaining him to bed... in case he falls off. 

QUINN:   
Yes, yes, yes, that must be it. 

SANDI:   
Yes and look, he is very hot too. She is taking his clothes for him off... 

TIFFANY:   
Oh looooook! 

STACY:   
That is a very strange looking plastic thingy. 

_The Fashion Club laughs nervously._

QUINN:   
That must be a little present she has bought for him. 

SANDI   
Yeah! 

STACY:   
What is that? 

QUINN:   
A sort of… model of a moon rocket, isn't it? 

THE WHOLE FASHION CLUB: _(seeing what is happening next)_   
EEEP! EEW! 

STACY:   
What did she stick it in there for!? 

STACY:   
Maybe she is trying to take his temperature. 

SANDI:   
Yes Quinn. It must be a thermometer not a rocket model. 

QUINN:   
That must be it, yes, yes, he is obviously ill, yes. 

TIFFANY:   
Well! That would be why he is sooooo hot! 

STACY:   
Yes, of course. I mean, look at the poor little guy, he is groaning and thrashing around the place. 

QUINN:   
He has obviously got a very high fever... 

SANDI:   
And that is why you cousin...   
(disgusted)   
is sucking the poison out of him... 

_The Fashion Club lean forward, watching intently the screen._

TIFFANY:   
I have seeeeeen something like this before, but I don't know wheeeeeere? 

QUINN:   
Do you seen that at the discovery channel? 

TIFFANY:   
No. 

STACY:   
Or was it Crocodile Dundee? 

SANDI:   
He is saying something, Stacy, what's he saying? Turn the volume up. 

_Stacy uses the remote control to turn up the volume, but no sound is heard._

STACY:   
Oh no, I think it's mute. 

SANDI:   
Well, you can lip-read, Tiffany. What is he saying? 

TIFFANY:   
Ah...   
_(she starts lip-reading)_   
Oh yes. Ooooooh yes! Oh Yessssss! Oh Yes!!   
_(getting louder)_   
Oh! OH! OHH! YES!! OOHH YESSS!! OOOOHH YESSSS!!! OOOOHHHH YEESSSSS!!!   
_(getting soft)_   
AAAAAAaahh... 

_The Fashion Club doesn't dare to look as they watch what happens next. They can't decide if they should turn away their eyes or not._

QUINN:   
Ewww, what a mess. 

STACY:   
Yeah, that's right. Thrash the fever out of him! 

TIFFANY:   
Yes, all that sticky white stuuuuuuff don't belong in there. 

SANDI:   
That treatment must helped him. 

QUINN:   
Oh, yes, yes, he's calmed down a bit now. 

TIFFANY:   
Haaaaaang on, who is she? 

QUINN:   
That must be Jane. She that artist, who always hangs around with my cousin. 

TIFFANY:   
Ohh. 

STACY:   
She is very *friendly* to them both, isn't she!? 

SANDI:   
I think they all must be very, very, very close friends. 

QUINN:   
Yes, yes, yes that must be it... 

_The Fashion Club pull long faces at the next scene._

QUINN:   
EWW! NO! No, Jane. Don't sit there! 

TIFFANY:   
Tom will suffocate! 

STACY:   
Maybe she didn't see him! 

SANDI:   
Eww!! I don't think that is very hygienic.   
…   
Girls? 

QUINN, STACY AND TIFFANY:   
Yes? 

SANDI:   
Is it just me, or do you sense a slight sexual undertone in this video? 

_The Fashion club look at each other with mixed faces._   
_Of course admitting Sandi's presumption would mean that they all just were witnessing an interesting but also highly embarrassing situation._   
_So they do that, what they always do in such situations:_   
_Playing stupid._

QUINN:   
NO! 

STACY:   
No! 

TIFFANY:   
Noooooo! 

SANDI:   
Okay. *No* then. 

_The Fashion Club turn their eyes back to the screen._

THE WHOLE FASHION CLUB: _(unbelieving)_   
Strap-on-thermometers?   


END 

  
  
  


AUTHOR'S APOLOGIES:   
Bad writers borrow. - Good writers steal. 

That is why, I have stolen this sketch, word for word from the award-winning, well-known BBC-comedy series: "Bottom" by Adrian Edmondson and Rik Mayall and transmogrify it into the Daria-universe. 

Yes, I confess that I was very lazy and I am very ashamed of it.   
I am also very, very ashamed for putting Daria, Jane and the Fashion Club in that kind of situation occurring in this fanfiction.   
Although Tom, who is a deprived upper-class pervert, would certainly enjoy such "thermometer- treatment".   
I want to stress out that the *real* Daria and the *real* Jane - as two proper, clean and virtuous young women -would never indulge themselves to such nasty, filthy behaviour displayed in this fanfiction.   
And I am very, very, very ashamed if I have hurt anybodies feelings. 

END NOTES:   
If you have any comments, than mail me under ace_trax@yahoo.de   
When you liked my sick sense of humour then visit my website on: www.geocities.com/ace_trax 

DISCLAIMER:   
The copyright owner of the TV-Series "Daria" is MTV.   
The copyright owner of the TV-Series "Bottom" is the BBC.   
I have no connection with the copyright owners and I don't have the legal rights to use their material. This fanfiction story was done without authorization, permission or approval by their respective copyright owners. 

AUTHOR'S COPYRIGHT:   
Please note that this fanfiction is a derivative work, so it is protected by copyright law as long as the words and syntax are novel. That means: Me, as the author of this work do not own the   
pre-existing copyrighted stuff, but I do own the whole rest. Those are all the novel words and syntax, which make the story.   
This story is not for profit, it is a work of pure fandom, without any financial interests.   
Any financial or other uses of this document without the specific permission of the authors (me and the other copyright owners) are forbidden.   
Text Copyright © 2003, Ace Trax. All rights reserved. 

THANKS AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:   
Thanks to Adrian Edmondson and Rik Mayall, two of the best comedians of the United Kingdom.   
And thanks to the creative minds of MTV, who gave the world the best TV-series of all time: "The Osbournes". 


End file.
